Economists Jokes

1.
 A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are shipwrecked on a desert island with only a can of beans to eat and no way to open it.The physicist makes a suggestion: "I can calculate just the right angle, mass, and velocity of a projectile that will knock the top off the can.""No!" the economist cries, "That might spill the beans." The chemist then says, "I can make a compound from some local plants that will eat through the tin and open the can." "Fool! That would contaminate the beans!" says the Economist.Exasperated, the other two ask the economist if he has a plan. "Of course!" says the economist, "The solution is simple. First, we assume we have a can opener..."

2. 
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy.

3.
 Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!" 


4. 
A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota. The woman asks: will this cure my illness? Answer of the doctor: No, but the half year will seem pretty long. 
5. 
On the first day God created the sun - so the Devil countered and created sunburn. On the second day God created sex. In response the Devil created marriage. On the third day God created an economist. This was a tough one for the Devil, but in the end and after a lot of thought he created a second economist!
6. 
The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.

7.
They say that Christopher Columbus was the first economist. When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant.Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things."